Children are sometimes frustrating, that they could make you wonder if you are their parent. Knowing how to deal with a disrespectful grown child can help reduce the avock they might have caused.
Children has the tendency to be disrespectful at the early stage of their life. It is just so painful that parents do little, do so much to correct a child but in the wrong way.
While some parents might think they are doing the right thing to help a child become respectful. It is such that they are doing the opposite, blending the child into the wrong path.
Many reasons why parents do not know how to deal with a disrespectful grown child is because they have failed in the process long before the child is grown.
Why Are Adult Children so Disrespectful?
This is a question you should ask yourself before knowing how to deal with a disrespectful grown child.
A child does not suddenly start to disrespect. It is something that takes up time before it punctures out. There must be a cause before an effect.
Didn’t gain enough experience from you: A disrespectful grown child starts to become annoying when they feel you have given them little or no experience of life. When a child starts struggling for his or herself to gather knowledge, exposure and experience, when they know they can easily get for you, or you can be their guide to making things easier but couldn’t find you, a grown up child will disrespect you, be it their parent, guardian or teachers or anyone.
1. Fail to play your role: Failure to play your role as a parent to a child will make a grown child disrespect you. The role of a parent is beyond paying for bills, it is more of friendship, ultimate love and sacrifice between parent and a child.
2. Found no love in you: you aren’t there for a child when they needed you the most. Children need love, and if they fail to find that love in the people they feel they can confide in, they begin to show a form of disrespect and lack of discipline.
3. You did not contribute to their success: A child has a higher tendency to keep memories. At an early stage of life, a child can easily take note of who is contributing immensely to their success and who is actually after their downfall.
Because they are children at that time, they keep in mind and records of who and all even that has happened. Who was good and who was bad. As a child grows, with much more freedom and rights, they start to pay back with disrespect.
Having a disrespectful grown child is one of the worst things that could ever happen to parents, especially single parents as this can be so frustrating.
Generally, children can be very annoying, that they will torment and frustrate their parents to the point where you will want to lose your senses.
Or to a point where you will want to doubt yourself, if truly you are the biological parent.
This in many ways has led so many parents to take a harsh approach when they do not know how to deal with a disrespectful grown child .
There are situations where children will always be disrespectful to their parents, it’s up to the parent to know how to deal with a disrespectful grown child.
There are many factors to consider when a child disrespect their parents which we are about to discuss in detail.
Why is Your Child Disrespect Despite Being Grown
The answers to why a grown child is disrespectful are attached to so many things.
This can be traced to child upbringing. Many parents make a mistake to spoil a child when the kid is young so that he knows not what is wrong but what is right.
Some parents have also laid the wrong foundation for their children by giving them the freedom they don’t need at a certain stage.
How Parent Upbringing Contributed To A Child Being Disrespectful
Poor upbringing of a child can make parents suffer in the long run. How you train a child to understand, reject, accept things around them is the mindset they carry to their adult life.
A child’s mindset is always very flexible and quick to adapt to negative things and at the same time difficult to adjust or amend.
If you observe closely, one bad thing about is that they are easy to adapt to and also become very addictive. On the other hand, good things are difficult to learn, it takes a gradual process for change to occur.
Building a child’s mind is like molding a wall, when the foundation is built on the wrong mindset it is always hard to break or change.
2 Ways To Deal With A Disrespectful Grown Child
A proverb says ‘Spare the rod and spoil the child’ that means, if children are not physically punished when they do wrong their personal development will suffer.
Physical punishment has little or no effect on children of this generation. Most of them have out ground being punished physically. Infact, if you try it to the extreme, you might end up being jailed for dealing with a disrespectful grown child.
Mental punishment is the most effective way to deal with a disrespectful grown child. Though it requires some technical skills to win over disrespect, it surely works. I have tried it and it does work.
Combining some physical punishment such as threat to beat and more of mental punishment will help deal with a disrespectful grown child.
Physical punishment isn’t just how to deal with a disrespectful grown child, there are few other ways to deal with a disrespectful grown up child.
If the physical punishment isn’t considered genuine or reasonable enough to deal with a disrespectful grown child try mental punishment or both.
How To Deal With a Disrespectful Grown Child At Once
1. Respect a Disrespectful grown child: You should know by now that respect is reciprocal and it can be the best way to deal with a disrespectful grown child. Because a child is young or not of your age or caliber does not mean they don’t deserve to be respected. Everyone deserves to be respected, irrespective of age. Simply by showing a child respect, you get your respect.
Another way is to let a child feel he doesn’t deserve your respect, yet you show him. This is a reverse psychological method to deal with a disrespectful grown child.
2. Give a child the right to speak: Many parents or guidance fail to understand this mental process of dealing with a disrespectful grown child. It is until you push a child to the wall, by shutting down words from their mouth when they try to explain or express themselves, they retaliate and end up becoming disrespectful. Learn to listen to what a child has to say, let them feel your comfort.
You don’t stand in front of a gun about being fired just because you don’t want it to sound. It will surely force its way out.
3. Stop being too harsh: some people believe being harsh on a child will deal with a disrespectful grown child, no it won’t. It may help the process for sometime but not the best solution. Instead, why not make the child see you as a best friend rather than a problem. Learn to be friendly, a child who can confide in someone will always be very respectful. At some point in life, there should be reason Why Parents Need To Give Their Children A Chance To Speak And Why We Need To Listen
4. Set priorities: You can easily lose your respect to a child if you fail to set your priorities. At the earliest stage you should clarify who you are and what your priorities are. Know a child’s priorities too and help them achieve them.
5. Don’t look cheap: Looking easy or soft makes you vulnerable to being disrespected by a spoiled child. Try as much as possible to look tough to handle. Some children are so silly that they act rude and disrespectful when they see you are easy going or fearless.
6. Have money: Money is power and it is a source of power and respect. When you have money there is a high tendency that a disrespectful grown child will repeat it to you since you have something he doesn’t have yet in his possession.
7. Have value: This boils down to the question. What If I have money and yet he is still disrespectful? Then it is important to have value. Let the child have something to respect you for which is of value. Have something he can always want from you.
8. Set a trap: Simply by setting a trap for a child can deal with a disrespectful grown child. All you need is to find it weakness, something the child loves to do in secret that wouldn’t want it to expose no matter what. Know these things and set a trap, the moment the child falls for it, this thing creates fear, he becomes less powerful and more respectful to you.
9. Use the silence punishment: When a grown child is disrespectful, it is not necessary to use physical punishment on them. Instead, try the silence punishment approach, this is a psychological method to gain your respect. Be silent when they expect you to react, pretend their actions don’t move you even at their worst. This immediately creates fear into them, as they wont know what you are capable of or what you can do next.
10. Be unpredictable: An unpredictable person is always feared. It is very possible to deal with a disrespectful grown child when he can not predict your next move or action. When you are unpredictable, a disrespectful child will always try as much as possible to avoid you because he doesn’t know your next move.