Long or Short Term Courtship:
To be sincere with ourselves either long term courtship or short term courtship MAY and MAY NOT guarantee marriage.
Life is a very funny world as it seems to bless and curse at its own will. We are going to address these issues in two ways by two different schools of thought.
Reddit talked about Determinism – The doctrine that all actions are determined by the current state and immutable laws of the universe, with no possibility of choice.
According to the determinants school of thought: it is believed that we can be determined to make something work for us, if we are prepared to work towards such thing. This school of thought believes that hardwork and determination can make a thing successful which include courtship leading to marriage.
The second school of though is the fatalism school.
Fatalist partners believe that whatever is meant to happen will happen. In other words, they think that if they’re destined to find “The One,” then that partner will magically appear, or that person will find them. – psychologytoday
According to fatalism school of thought: They believe in the very common word which says que sera sera, which means “WHAT WILL BE WILL BE”.
On this ground, we should note that:
From the determinant school of thought, It is proven that we can try our best, put in so much effort to make things work in our relationships, as we make personal sacrifices and spend so much time and everything to make courtship lead to marriage.
However, the painful part of the determinist school of thought is that after putting so much in a long term courtship or short term courtship to lead to marriage, such relationship may still end up in relationship breakup. This might come as a shock to us because when we think and believe we have done what we have to do to make a courtship lead to marriage, you might later realise it is just a waste of time.
Is there anything like waste of time in relationship? Lets quickly chip in this so we can clear this ideology out of our minds. Either a relationship end up being fruitful or not, there is no waste of time in both. How do I mean?
Since life is a place to learn as it teaches us everyday, so as relationship, if we can accept relationship as an avenue to learn and discover new things then it is not a waste. The beauty of learning in a relationship is when we are into any other relationships and practice what we have learnt in our previous relationship to build a better relationship experience.
What Leads Courtship To Marriage?
Even go as far as praying and fasting, visiting pastors, prophets and people for advice, may strike you to the bone to find yourselves in relationship breakup as long term courtship or short term courtship yielded no positive result as we expected.
It is possible to mix everything about relationships up if we fail to understand the importance of courtship before marriage. Courtship is a time to discover more about yourself and your partner, a well spent time in courtship makes both partners know their strength and weakness and how to adjust and correct them before marriage.
Both long term courtship and short term courtship are good but does not in anyway guaranty relationship success. There are people who spent just a month or less in a relationship and get married. We also have partners who spent up to 7 years and more in a relationship but still end in breakup.
Defining Your Relationship
These are instances, but have you ever wondered the need of marriage if the foundation of a relationship or courtship is not defined? The foundation of a relationship matters alot as defining a relationship could lead both long term courtship and short term courtship into marriage.
Many partners started relationship on the mindset of sex or premarital sex life, started a relationship on lust rather than love, started relationship on material things like money rather than true love. Infact, and here is why and how some have already tradedtheir love for money from the inception, I mean from the beginning of a relationship.
Wasting so much time on all the unpleasant relationship lifestyle stated above will never make a person find a good partner even when they try to adjust to live a good life later in the future.
But still, we have people who have lived a wayward life in their relationships, this people have done so many ungodly and unspeakable and horrible things but yet get married in a short term in courtship and we have people who are in a long term courtship but end up in breakup, even with a good and Godly lifestyle.
How possible is this? This is possible, hence, we need to understand that a person can get married in either a short term courtship or long term courtship this really does not matter, but guess what matters most.
The Peace In Marriage
How peaceful is your marriage?
A question you should ask yourself before even starting a relationship not to think of after getting married or even the duration of if long term courtship or short term courtship will lead to marriage.
The peace you find in marriage supersedes every other things, since we know marriage is a life time project, then we should understand that how peaceful a marriage is supersedes both long term or short term courtship.
Few Things to Consider
Who are you: This is a personal question for you and a test on how well you know yourself. Have you ever wondered why nothing is working for you no matter how you try, especially in your relationship?
If you don’t know who you are, how will you know what you want? You can only know what you want when you know who you are. If you eventually know what you want and you do not know who you are, you will always observe that nothing works for you no matter how you try.
Discovering your purpose: when you know who you are, then you can discover your purpose in life, with this you can determine what kind of partner you want as you find a partner with the same or similar vision with you is another thing. With this you can easily break a long term courtship into a short term courtship that will lead to a fruitful marriage.
Considering all these without prayer for guidance and direction you may mix things up, however, when putting everything into prayer, remember to be wise enough to apply wisdom to everything you do.