People who are scared to love again, are the ones who are seriously heart broken, but the good news is that being heart broken isn’t the end of life but the start of a new life and perhaps a better relationship only if some few steps are taken.
Joyce Meyer wrote in one of her books; Perfect lovecasts our fear. According to the passage in the bible 1 John 4-17, this is actually the love of God and only God is perfect. The question we should reminisce on is if truly that perfect love truly casts out fear.
Actually, the truth is that nothing is perfect as far as human actions are concerned. Apart from the love of God, nothing else seems perfect. As humans, we are bound to make mistakes so far we exist in the flesh.
Love is a beautiful thing but when we have a taste of the brutality, the same love which makes us smile could cost us. We will flee when we hear people talk about love.
The experience and heart break and other things people have passed through in a relationship is enough for some to write down the stories of their life, but still some of our experiences might give us a better understanding about life as it teaches us and makes us know what we lack knowledge about. Moreover, life is meant to be a teacher to teach us which make us scared to love again.
Many people are scared to love again due to their experiences in their past relationships, and as many who are scared to fall in love, there are others who are willing to fall in love again because that is what keeps them going, as it gives them happiness.
We might have had our bad times and moments in our past relationships, but it does not mean we should take a stop, we can decide to take a break but we should not stop loving.
We may think we have made a big mistake and we do not wish to make them again, but if we do not know some things that we lack then we may still keep falling in love with the wrong partner.
When we avoid people who show us love because we are hurt, that does not mean we would still not get hurt later on when we eventually make up our mind to love again.
I will say it is not a good idea; we need to keep giving out the chance to meet the right person, because if we say we would shut our hearts because we do not want the bad once to get into us, then we may eventually lose the right person when they come. We do not need to be scared to love but to be more vigilant and wiser when making decisions in a relationship and choosing the right partner.
1. Clarity: How sure are you that the person you are about to start a relationship with truly loves you? Many people fall in love with people that do not really love them. As a lady in a relationship, you must understand that the world we live in is a corrupt world. So, to clarify the status of your relationship is to know why a person loves us so dearly or perhaps it is just a mouth say.
It is either we are loved for our intellectual abilities and values we possess or we are loved for our physical appearance such as beauty, cuteness, dressing or other material things that could attract us or call people’s attention. If we make our research with clarity that your relationship is based on value and intellectual ability or capability that we possess and not of material things, then there is a high tendency we get the best out of our relationship.
2. Don’t Fall In Love Easily: falling easily for a relationship could make a person fall out of the same relationship in a short time. Though, sometimes when true feelings come into play and toys with our mind, we easily give in to accept the love we should have refused. If this happens to us often, it could be that we may lack self control. Self control is an act of not being able to control ones feeling and emotion, or a lack of control on self in making decisions; this could easily make us fall into the wrong relationship.
However, love at first sight happens, but believe me the love at first sight of this very generation is attributed to lust instead of love, because the person who claims to love us focuses on our appearances rather than the value we possess. Moreover, we are in the modern age and the internet world where fashion has taking another trend, the clothes we put on could make people who has good intentions for us or our career easily change their minds towards us, and make them have a change of mindset toward us, so rather than adding value to us, they look to get something in return which most times end up in sex for a lady, and for the men, money and other material values they could gain form us rather than showing us true love.
3. Use Your Brain: When falling in love, it is better to fall with your heart but best to use your brain. Think and think deeply before you make decisions, don’t just make decisions because you think it is the right decision but make decisions because you know it is the right one. So, how doyou make the right decision in a relationship? –
For a lady do not follow a man because he shows you care out of wedlock, don’t be desired by mouth say or words, don’t be controlled by your emotions alone but rather use your instinct.
Your heart is that which shows you the path to choose, while your brain or instinct is what gives you the direction on the path you choose. So, be mindful of which you choose because it may ruin you in your relationship at the end.
4. Compare: Comparing your relationship could help your relationship or could also destroy it, when you are in a relationship never compare your past relationship life with your present relationship. It could affect you mentally and could pollute your mindset. But comparing your relationship on the other hand could also enhance and boost your relationship life, because from there, you can determine your relationship’s weakness and strength and know how to fix the flaws in your relationship.
5. Take Your Time: If you are really scared to love again you need to really take your time to know which and what kind of relationship you are getting yourself into. Most people fail to take their time before starting a relationship, at the end, the relationship fails and end up in regrets.
If you are broken hearted, it doesn’t mean you have the chance to fall into any relationship that comes your way, rather focus on what was the reason why the former relationship failed.
6. Don’t Easily Commit: Easily committing to love we know nothing about can make us regret our actions in a matter of time, it will never take long and if it does take long then, it means we are naturally serving a punishment for our sins, kind of a joke though, but the truth is that total commitment into a relationship you know nothing about is not healthy for a new relationship. One very reason is that your partner can easily know your flaws and easily take advantage of you. Before you commit yourself in a relationship, know why your previous relationship failed, Know why your past relationship didn’t work out successfully. With this, you can easily deduce where you lack or where the fault is coming from and how to fix them.
7. Test: It is not so bad to test our partner if they truly love us; so far it is just to confirm how true the feelings are towards us. Testing our partner can also be harmful when it is done wrongly, let the test be light and not a test that will be so complex that could break or make the relationship end in a break up. Just play some pranks on them and see how they react, their reactions should give you a strong proof of how much they love us.
The fear to love again might make you lose interest in things that could help you grow personally and could also go as far as ruining your next relationship. You don’t need to give up on love, you just need to be mindful of what kind of relationship you go into.
All relationship has it’s flaws since love is a combined feeling between two different people from different backgrounds. It is natural we find fault in ourselves as lovers, however learn to love with flaws, it strengthens the mind to carry on with life.
We might not pick all the to enhance the decision making in choose and handling your fear to love, but we hope this major points guides you through your advantage in your relationship life challenges. For any other related issues kindly comment below or visit our contact us page to share your thoughts as we welcome you with open arms.