One evening, an issue came up, something related to a lady falling in love with a married man. Why men cheat in marriages and other relationships and why people fall for lust and not love.
I was a bit confused and I decided to ask my mom. I walked up to her and I said, mum who is to blame, is it the man who approached a woman or the woman who accepted to date the man?
Her reply was shocking as I kept thinking about it for years.
She said; “it is natural for a man to see a woman or lady and approach her but the responsibility is on the woman to decline or accept”.
Then, I knew that if truly the problem of fornication and adultery was to come to an end, the ladies have a big role to play and responsibility to carry.
But still, is it really bad to fall in love with a married man, since we feel he loves and cares about us?
Could falling in love with a married man really be a bad thing, an evil or an abomination? Probably not, but could be something worse. Falling in love with a married man is not bad and not something evil, so far we know within ourselves that it is love and not lust.
But first; how do you feel being in love with a married man? When you get married and your husband is with another woman outside of your marriage? Will you feel comfortable; will it really look good to you?
If you think what you feel is love, then how true is the love? Feel free to ask yourself how much attention can such man give to you. Though, it is so painful that sometimes what we really want or desire are not really ours and what we do not wish for are what comes our way. But, sometimes everything works out perfectly as we have planned with no negative or side effect. But, dating or being in love with a married man has a great consequence because it both ruins both your own life and the man’s life.
Do you think a man who is married truly loves you even if you clam to love him? No, he can’t and he would rather not lose his home for you at the end, even when he tries all his best to protect you.
A married man who is in love with you is a man who knows your weakness. And do you know what that weakness is? It is that you seem to misunderstand lust with love.
A married man who claims to be in love with you knows inside of himself that it is lust and nothing more, as he uses you to pass time.
Most married man who fell in love with ladies outside their marriage, are men who are lustful before marriage. A lustful man, is a man who is never satisfied with what he sees, they are always after women’s appearance and beauty.
However, falling in love with a married man, could be that the man may not be a lustful person, but he was pushed to be with you. He probably is not enjoying his marriage and he thought to himself to have an affair, just to cool the pressure in his home. We may say this is not truly lust, but still, it is.
And there are some other men who have good homes, but they are seduced and tempted by women and young ladies as the ladies claim to love them, which we have stated that this kind of feeling isn’t love but lust.
Why is it wrong?
It is wrong on your part and his, because you are in some ways destroying his home and the happiness of others in the family and in another way, you are build a problem you may not be able to fight and win, as nemesis will catch up with you soon. Remember, what goes around comes around. As you await the wrath of your wrongs when you are also married, then it will be clear why faithfulness matters inmarriage.
1. Because it is immoral: By nature, extra marital affair is immoral, it does not portray good character, because even when we think and believe it is love, people will always picture such a relationship as lust and a way to damage peoples home. People will never see us as a good person even when we marry we will always have the feeling to have extra marital affair because it is part of us and something we are used to. We can never be satisfied with our husbands in the home, issues will always come up because our mindset will always be on our past experiences and we can never be satisfied, only few marriages survives with this way of life.
2. Because it’s a Sin: The bible and other religious believers forbid it. It is called adultery, and it is hard to cleanse ourselves out of this way of life because when we get caught, people from then on start to picture us and attribute us to prostitutes.
3. Because it is embarrassing: I bet you don’t like to be embarrassed by people. For a lady it is an embarrassment when caught. It tarnishes peoples reputation and personality. With this it might not be easy to find a helper because everybody will want to take advantage of us, since they know we cheat.
4. It Could Ruin a Marriage: We may think being in love with a married man is a way to catch fun and enjoy life as you get value for your services. But still, we should remember everything counts either good or bad, falling in love with a married man could easily ruin a healthy marriage, as you serve as the problem that hinders the success of the marriage. Remember, some day you will also get married; do you want someone from nowhere to ruin your happy marriage?
5. Flirting: It is because you are a flirt. Flirt means to behave as though one is sexually attracted to someone, but playfully rather than with serious intentions and it is bad and could ruin a relationship or marriage. Here are facts about flirtingthat single and married people should know – Businessinsider.
It is good and a very wonderful thing to love someone but sometimes love could take a wrong turn as we might confuse lust with love. It makes us feel we are doing the right thing whereas, it is the opposite.
The sincere answer is, it is lust and not love. I know it may not be easy for someone who has not fallen into this kind of relationship to believe. But, someone who is captive or a victim of these circumstances will have no doubt someday that it is truly not love but lust. There will be a moment when something will keep telling you it is true love but don’t listen to that because it is lust and here are the proofs.
It is good to always meet the good side of love and not lust, as many people confuse lust with love, especially when it comes to dating and relationships. There are no signs to show a married man is in love with you. He is cheating because it is lust not love.