If you rush in to marriage you will as well rush out – only if you are lucky enough to stay alive to narrate your survival story.
“My biggest and shameful regret was getting married and getting married to the wrong person, as it now becomes a memory I regret it would hunt me for the rest of my life”. – Mercy (A client we spoke with).
The rate at which women are eager to get married these days now becomes very alarming. So does the rate of wife battering and sexual battering dramatically increases. Every lady out there wants to get married as soon as they are above the adolescent age.
Marriage is a good thing and it is ordained by God but, it is quiet opposite when dealing with humans, especially when we get married to the wrong person. In here, battering starts to take its course.
Even if marriage is for better and for worse, and for richer and for poorer, does it mean that we should die in a marriage that we can not handle? It is so painful how people with great potential lost their lives in marriages just because they wanted to get married.
“Any woman who manages to survive the violence in marriage as a result of wife battering and somehow overcomes it, yet stays alive before or after a divorce, can only tell their testimonies to the world and advise young ladies out there not to rush and be very careful before engaging themselves in marriage too”. – Dorcas
One good thing is to get married; the worse thing is to marry the wrong person. It is so sad that many people in relationship do not take note of this, while others do not even know the essence of marriage and what marriage entails.
“Marriage is an experience in life that will shock you to the bones, because most times, it is not what you bargained for that you get at the end” – Grace
Values In Marriage
Many people in relationship values the ceremonial aspect of wedding rather than marriage. What most people don’t understand is that wedding can be best done the way we want it, everybody is happy as we all have fun, we spend our resources on material things and we merry, but after that what next? Have we for once thought about this?
It is not new that many women get married because they want to show the world and their friends that their wedding is more charming and well programmed and fun than their friends.
They take wedding as a competition while they forget that there is a big challenge ahead; Oh! Did they tell you marriage is fun, a place to seek comfort and a time to relax and have the best fun every time with your spouses?
Hum! Well, it is, but only when we are with the right person, only if we haven’t made the biggest mistake we may ever regret. Just because of our ignorance to understand the pros and cons in marriage, many marriages failed.
Or do we think that most couples who smile to us are happy in their homes? Absolutely not. Everybody keep their problem to themselves. But does that mean we can not get married to the right spouse and be happy?
No, I never say that. Marriage is more complicated than we think, even when we are in courtship as we are trying to study our spouses, we may sooner get convinced that they are the right person for us, but that doesn’t really guarantee or assure us that we are not going to face challenges in our marriages or homes.
The Essence Of Courtship Before Marriage
The above statement is for those who took their time to understand their spouses in courtship before marriage because; the essence of courtship is to know the strengths and the weaknesses of our spouses before marriage.
Those who jump into marriage because they want to entice or impress their friends they must times end up in regret.
What we forget is that wedding is just for a day, people rejoice with us and we all have fun after that day they leave and we are left with our cross to carry.
Don’t be surprised that marriage can be violent and it could cost us our lives as a result of battering. Wife battering is the most common of violent acts in marriage, and it can turn brutal and fatal if proper care is not taken.
If you are a woman who values the idea of wedding than your marriage, then there is a very high tendency to face the challenge of wife battering in your marriage rather than peace.
Battering in marriage is vocal, oral or physical combat, between couples in marriage. However, wife battering does not apply to someone who takes their time to understand their spouse while in courtship.
Wife battering is a form of violent, a psychological and mental disorderliness or charge in marriage which involve both partners (a man and woman) in an exchange of words as a form of argument which in turns results into a physical combat.
It is clear that men are the strongest, when it comes to power and strength as they make us of their masculine advantage over women beating and molesting their wives indoors and also in public in a brutal and fatal way that could result in severe damage and could eventually leads to death, if no one intrudes.
“I have seen, I have fought and I have conquered. It is only the brave, determined and committed that can survive the pressure marriage especially when it comes to the act of battering” – Praise
Don’t be fooled; don’t let people push you into the marriage you are not well prepared for. It is better to stay single than to get married into a whole new world of war and endless pain with little or no joy. Learn and stay away from battering.