It is very glaring that courtship is very important before marriage as this is the avenue and time when spouses or lovers gets to know more about themselves. This determines how courtship leads into a successful marriage life.
Courtship before marriage is crucial because it builds a solid foundation in which relationships stand.
It is a place to decide for ourselves which path we should follow and how flexible or complex a relationship could be and how certain or sure we are to handle its pressure.
Marriage is a life time thing; therefore, if we get it all wrong during our courtship period, it could be a disaster upon us when we get married.
However, for success in marriages, we need to know few things that would guide us through the marriage; a journey of a life time.
More reason why we put this together to help us understand the ways courtship leads into marriage.
For a better understanding, we shall be picking each ways one after the other.
1. Don’t Rush It: Marriage is important but it is not something we need to rush into. It is a slow and steady thing as they say “slow and steady wins the race” so does marriage. Marriage is a thing of a life time, so why rush into it? It is commonly said “when you rush in you rush out”. Then it is better not to take the risk of rushing into it in the first place.
Though sometimes due to our age factor we tend to rush into marriage, probably due to the fact that we are getting old or perhaps some other factors which may trigger us into rushing into one.
It is very important that we understand the purpose of courtship; courtship is not their as a sign or a symbol of something, it is rather that which makes us to understand the essence of a serious relationship which may end up in marriage.
It is also important that we have to take our time, though time is everything but when we believe that time is one of the major determinant of how soon we have to get married, it could end up in a situation that we might regret at the end.
It is advisable for us to take our time to study who we want to get married to, to know our individual difference and all.
2. Don’t Force It: Many people have, will and still regretting why they are into marriage, why? Because they forced it.
One thing we should never do is to force ourselves into something we may not be able to finish, marriage is a long journey that we do not have any idea of how it will end, so why force something we might not be able to finish or something we do not know where it will end.
Do not or never force your lover or spouse into a marriage; you may regret it at the end. If they are not sure about marriage, give them sometime
Forcing someone or oneself into marriage is like digging one’s own grave subconsciously. Do you know if the person you are forcing isn’t ready for marriage, or if such person is not capable of handling the pressure in marriage that would be consequential?
It is important to know that when we are ready it does not mean our partner is read. A successful way to lead courtship into marriage takes a lot of patience. Patience is the key.
3. Don’t Pretend: Many people pretend to be what they are not just to get the best and a way to make their relationship while courting to lead to marriage.
Pretence is one dangerous way of making the wrong decision in marriage, we may think that we should pretend so that we can earn our spouses or lovers favour in a relationship, but this in most times plays a negative part in a relationship.
While we think that it is a way to help our courtship lead into marriage, it may not and if it eventually does, we may have to pay dearly for it when we get married.
4. Never Act Too Smart: Acting too smart in a relationship is very dangerous and damaging, when you are smart, it better to keep your ego in your pocket and focus more on dignity, as dignity commands respect.
Acting too smart may make your spouse’s think that you are fooling them, and when we act too smart we may become nuisance.
The bad thing about this is that when we have a spouse who is also smart and intelligent and they notice that we are acting too smart just to let things play into our favour alone, only to make the relationship lead into marriage.
Most of them who get to notice this attitude soon, plays along with us and at the end they may make us pay for it when we get married.
Never act too smart when you are dealing with a man, they will believe and see the relationship as a game and they will play along, till the end before they make us realise what disaster we have caused on ourselves.
5. Don’t Overrate: Overrating your relationship may lead you to severe and serious trouble, while you are trying to find a way to make your courtship lead into marriage it may turn out disastrous if you make the mistakes of overrating your relationship.
It is good to rate our relationships based on the positive things we may have derived from it but it is also very harmful to our relationship when we over rate it.
It is better that we watch and see how things grow gradually than to boast about things that are not actually happening in the relationship, overrating and hipping of relationship makes most courtship that was meant to lead to marriage turn out into failure.
6. Don’t Go Madly In Love: It is good to fall in love, infact it is lovely to fall deeply in love especially when we realise that our relationship is heading towards marriage.
But as good as falling and falling deeply in love is, so as bad and worse it is to go madly in love. The act of losing control of our actions through emotions is a sign and a way to go madly in love.
Too much of everything is not good, so when you fall deeply in love, do not fall too deep, when we say too deep it means doing something in excess, when we do something in excess it most times results in irritation and failure.
We need to be careful of this and if we are not, our spouses takes advantage of this action of ours by using them against us and at the end we may end up regretting it.
7. Do Not Forget Your Purpose: Our relationship may look meaningful and while in courtship it may look very promising that it will lead to marriage, at this point in time, so many things happens.
It is very important to not get carried away and not to forget the purpose of us being in the relationship.
Courtship do not certify marriage, it is just a time to know more about one another so do not mess things up, be more focused and try to learn more at the stage of courtship so it can eventually lead your relationship further into marriage.